Stuperheroes

While Clever Girl Assassin bounces on her bed with wanton anticipation, Spaced Girl Hero meanders up onto the roof to contemplate the meaning of life...and Travis Fimmel’s thighs…


"Life's a bitch and then you die so fuck the world and let's get high." She mumbles to herself as she daydreams about frolicking naked on the beach with the stuper-luscious Travis.


Obviously he sent that invitation on my account, she thinks to herself. I mean, it’s not like he couldn't have bought that Ferrari on his own after all those Calvin Klein ads.

“Mmmmmmm….Travis… in underwear…on a billboard… fifty feet tall…nummy…” She moans, tipping her head back and drooling a bit, kinda like Homer Simpson with a donut. Coming back to herself, she resumes her mental wanderings.


Clearly he is mesmerized by my eyes of night and untamed sensuality. Poor Clever Girl, she'll be so disappointed; but alas, such is life.


(Upbeat Stuperhero music plays)

Meanwhile, at the Penthouse of Objectification...


"He is magnificent Agent Stroker. So real...so hard..." Howard remarks as he runs his finger over the warm, oh-so-life-like, tanned, supple flesh of the Travis Boy-droid's muscular chest. "He is perfect. A masterpiece." His finger continues down to the Boy-droid's stomach, stopping just before touching his sizeable manhood.


Howard sighs as he walks to his heart shaped bed and settles onto the pink satin sheets, glancing at his reflection staring down from the ceiling above. He beckons to the skanky blond slave standing in the corner, waiting to fulfill his every twisted desire. The blond approaches the bed, putting a leather dog collar around Howard's neck and attaching a leash. Commanding Master Stern to drop to all fours the slave then proceeds to pour pickle juice all over his pasty, gnarly body. Picking up a large dill pickle the slave begins to smack him with it.


SLAP, SLAP, SLAP

The rhythmic, nauseating sound of the pickle hitting his pale, pimpled ass echoes through the penthouse.


"But are we sure that they will be fooled by the Boy-droid?" Agent Stroker inquires.


"They won't stop long enough to consider otherwise." Howard assures him. "No man-I mean woman, can resist Travis Fimmel. No, they will be under our control by the stroke of midnight, as long as you don't muck it all up. The Spatula of Discipline is ready for them." He gestures towards a glass case containing a large pink rubber spatula. "Be sure everything else is ready for the expo. Alert me when they have arrived."


"Slave, where is my prosthesis?"


Will Spaced and Clever Girl be duped by the Boy-droid? Will they kill each other in their rush to be the first to ravish him, making Howard's plans irrelevant? Tune in later for the next the exciting episode of The Secret Weapon.