Stuperheroes

The Stuperchicks are on their way to the hospital as Benny is in the Fortress of Sanity….


After wondering down to the fortress’s garage Benny begins to formulate his plan.


“An they say I live the life of Riley… me? As if I be jus milling about with me mickey. Tis murder watching o’r those gits.” Benny slams the last few drops of Guinness and up-ends his mug on Spaced Girls purple 1969 Corvette Stingray (otherwise known as schnookums). “Eegad! Benny sees Captain Jack just in the knick of time as he comes barreling out of no-where heading straight at Benny. Throwing himself to the ground he narrowly escapes with his ears in tact. Rising from the floor of the garage Benny is struck with an epiphany.


“GREAT GROWLERS!” He exclaims…. “To the Bitch Mobile” Lighting a bifter Benny meanders, not quite leggin’ it, over to the stuper stretch limo parked in the rear of the 3000 ft garage.


Climbing inside he knocks on the window divider and hollers to the driver slumped behind the seat. “It’s your day ol’ chap, I say….” Benny sniggers to himself over his cleaver use of Britishisms… The driver (who’s 105 if a day) comes to and looks bleary eyed at his two foot tall slightly bent passenger.


“This isn’t on the shedule.” “Course not ya fecker, Timmy fell in the well, ye arse.” Benny isn’t quite sure but from the expression on the Geriatric face he assumes the geezer can’t hear a word he’s sayin’. “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle”


SQWACK!! SQWACK!!!!


Captain Jack appears out of nowhere. This time with surprise on his side he has a clear shot. Swooping down from the support beam Captain Jack is able to pluck Benny’s Bifter right from between his lips.


SQWACK!!!!


“Off me nut” “Blimey Bastard” Captain shrieks as he makes his getaway.


Waving an indigent hand in the air Benny curses him silently.


MEANWHILE….


After being taken unexpectedly by a sudden attack of mutant phenomena our stuperheroes find themselves in the emergency room.


"Whew!" Clever Girl wipes the back of her hand across her sweaty brow. "I can't recall the last time I got sick.”
COUGH! COUGH! BARK! COUGH!


“And to be taken so unexpectedly." She continues when the coughing subsides.


“And from behind.” Spaced Girl adds.


Fiddling with the heart monitor suction cup dealies stuck to her heaving chest, she sighs deeply. "I'd say this has to be the work of a sinister mind. It’s much too clever to have been thought up by that lame brain, no dick, Howie."



"You can be certain that this is the work of Poof Poofy Poof the rapper and his evil posse, Frigid Puddin'." Spaced Girl remarks as she cranks up the voltage regulator on the EKG machine hooked to Clever Girl’s milky white breasts.


"You've done it Spaced, once again you have deduced the villain." Her voice trails off as the current of electricity surges through her body. Her hair, once in perfect red ringlets now stands on end. "And you know, I think I'm already starting to feel better.


Travis (Howard Stern's evil Boy-droid in disguise) feels the current emanating from Clever Girl's body, his droid hunger driving him to consume the power. Lunging at her, his lips puckered, he aims for her cleavage.


"Damn! I just knew he was gay!" Spaced Girl yells.


ZAP!!!!


"Arruughhh"


Sparks shoot out from his mouth as Clever Girl screams in pain. Spaced Girl, again with her stuper powers of deduction, spies an opening in Travis's trousers. Quick as lightening she bolts from her sick bed and whips her hand in between his butt cheeks.


"Just one second...hold on Clever Girl! There's got to be a switch in here somewhere." Struggling against the energy surge Spaced Girl manages to flip his switch, causing the boy droid to bend in half at the waist, limp and lifeless.


"Figures, they never admit it but they’re all suckers for some butt play." Clever Girl says through the puffs of smoke that are circling around her frizzled hair.


"And to think, he was a droid all along." Shaking her head she begins to unzip his pants.


"What are you doing?" Spaced Girl asks, though she too was curious.


Releasing his zipper and then the button on the boxers Clever Girl reveals the true depths of Howard's Evil Genius.


"HE'S HUGE!!!!!!!!! He's Ginormous!"


"Do you think we could keep him...?" Clever Girl asks as she fondles the supple, fleshy like droid skin. "I think I could reprogram him."


"Why do you suppose he'd go to the lengths to have him anatomically correct?" Spaced Girl asks, mesmerized herself.


Shaking their heads they decide not to think further on that subject. Instead refocusing their stuperpowers they are able to fight the raging virus ridding their stuper bodies of the vile creation of Poof Poofy Poof.


As the three leave through the hospital emergency room doors they spy a long haired, tattoo covered, fashion freak, face down in what appears to be a pile of his own vomit, his pants pulled down around his ankles.


"Oh my Goddess, isn't anyone going to help this poor bastard?"


"Oh that's just Remy Maxwell, DJ for 93X; you know... boys will be boys... although if rumors are true he's a dick short to really be classified a boy." Clever Girl says as she fondles her PADDLE OF JUSTICE.


AH HA!


Spying an almost-missed opportunity for justice. Clever Girl remarks. "Men like you give men like Jason Statham a bad name" grabbing Remy by the arm she drags him through the alley to the Boy-droid's limo and stuffs him in the trunk.


Sliding in beside the once again perky droid she leans over his lap and says to Spaced Girl "Did you get a sniff of him? Smells like he's already started to rot."


"He couldn't smell any worse than he looks. I mean really... does he think the corpse look is in?" Spaced Girl remarks as she makes herself a drink from the mini bar. Nestling into the Boy-droids lap she has a clever idea. "Howie doesn't know we've uncovered his evil plot. We could pay him a visit and while we’re at it, we could leave him a little peace offering... Remy"



"My Goddess! Spaced Girl you've done it again, not only a sexy body but a rapier mind as well... I could just kiss you." Clever Girl says as she too squeezes her way onto the Boy-droid's lap, nestling her head on his shoulder under his silky blond mane. "Driver... to the PENTHOUSE OF OBJECTIFICATION!"