Stuperheroes

”Bollocks!”


Benny shouts at no one… as he is alone… hurt… wounded… and all alone.


:A silent tear falls from the authors red and swollen eyes:


After his harrowing brush with death Benny is in a tit. Using his (not overly advertised) stupersonic vibe-mode he is able to move the gigantic safe off his bruised and battered silicone form.


Freeing himself from one desperate situation he is now facing an equally frightening position. Lying sprawled on the ground – out in the open, wounded – he makes the perfect target for the menacing and potentially cooked cockatoo.


“Oy, I was jus blaggardin’ ya!” He hollers to Captain Jack, spinning his head to look in every possible direction. “Twasn’t serious, jus’ a ri-ra. Ya ‘ear me ye brasser?” He adds the last bit under his breath hoping against all odds Captain Jack has had his fun and is now in a more forgiving mood.


Unbeknownst to Benny, after having a good roll over his ingenious plan, Captain Jack took his trophy up to his favorite spot in the Fortress to get a little bent himself.


Having been pulled away from their lucsious fantasy fulfilling, the Girls (hot boy-droid in tow) burst into the garage to spy an almost comatose Benny sprawled awkwardly on the floor of the garage.


“Oh Benny!” Clever Girl rushes to his side… “Are you going to be okay?” Stroking his ears gently she can’t help but notice that in her absence Spaced Girl now has sole possession of the Travis-Bot.


“Help me whore!” She hollers to her stuperhorny cohort.


“Can’t you manage? I mean really he’s like five pounds.” Spaced shoots back annoyed at the distraction as she is trying to play a round of pocket pool.


“I’d say his lid weighs that much by itself! Bitch.” Then continuing with a little less estrogen in her voice Clever Girl, throwing her glorious red curls back out of her face and tilting her head in that totally innocent playful way, says “Anyhoo… Benny needs you.”


“Ahhh Benny…” Spaced Girl rushes in, her nurturing nature finally overriding her libidinous nature.


Clever Girl scoops the frail and fragile Benny in her arms as Spaced grabs for his man-bag with all of his treasures tucked inside and follows them to Benny’s Room.


Propped up on pillows, a Guinness in hand, and hopped up on the Author’s secret stash of Vicodin, Benny it seems, is on the mend.


Usually grateful to have an excuse to get bolloxed on the Black Stuff, Benny is a bit beside himself as he can’t seem to get a grip on the recent turn of events. Looking up to his would-be caretakers Benny realizes they are over him. Figuring that Benny will heal better if left alone the Girls link arms with their droid and escort him swiftly to the Garden room, Spaced grabbing a length of rope on the way.


Usually the fact that Benny hadn’t touched his Arthurs would have sent the Girls into a state of shock followed closely by a few rounds of asking if he’d be okay, if he’s worse off than they had thought, if Spaced should CAST A SPELL or perhaps Clever Girl should fetch her TOOL BOX.


“Naw,” he thinks, “tis better they leave me be.” But deep down… secretly… Benny is bitter and angry that they hadn’t noticed. In fact Benny is getting quite peeved at the notion that the Boy-Droid would be stealing all his attention from now on. So pissed in fact, he has to swallow his venom with a big swig of Guinness.


"Besides, Travis may be the Puppies Privates, but he don't vibrate!"  Benny exclaims with a loud Bzzzzzzzzz and a flick of his pearls.

As our stuperchicks are enjoying their new Boy Toy and a well-deserved break, Benny and Captain Jack are up to their usual antics....


"Captain Ja-ack!...Ye ball bag..." Benny mutters the last part under his breath lest Captain Jack catch on to his evil sceme. "I got a bag of taytos for ye." He calls out to the psychotic bird.


Benny sits in silence for a few moments, anxiously waiting for Captain Jack to swoop down and attempt to steal the potatoes so that he could snatch up the bloody thing and stuff him into a box labeled "To Siberia"


"Awwwck! Blimey Bastard...Awwwck...Off me nut!" Captain Jack cries out as he swiftly dive bombs Benny, scoops up the taytos and flies up and out of reach before Benny can get his hands on him.


"Ye bloody cunt!" Benny cries, looking up to where Captian Jack perches in the rafters of the garage. Too late he spies the one ton safe hanging precariously from a fraying rope directly above his head.


With a loud....


AWWWCK!


Captain Jack bites the rope and the safe plunges on top of our Vibrating British friend


SPLAT!!!!


Oh dear, what ever will become of the stuperhero's pint size Arthur's-guzzling, bifter-smoking sidekick? Tune in later folks for the continuation of this drama.....

Dear faithful readers and good citizens: 

The Author would like to apologize for the prolonged pause in the adventures of our stuperheroes.  After rescuing their files from the vile Howard Stern they decided to take a well deserved break from crime fighting and lay around the Fortress of Sanity in fluffy feather slippers (pink for Clever Girl and purple for Spaced) while their new boy toy (thanks Howie!) serves their every desire (but we won't go into those).  We cannot say how long it will be as tearing them away from the boy toy may end up being quite dangerous. 

Thank you for your patience. 

The Author

Yes! We have triumphed in our attempt to sneak into the Penthouse of Objectification and we have retrieved our files. Our adventures will soon be up and running again good citizens!