Stuperheroes

Clever Girl Assassin has finally tired of the Travis-bot and has moved on to prepare for different prey--to be detailed in the next episode.

But for now.....

Spaced Girl Hero straddles the Travis Bot, riding him furiously into the sunset....

"Travis, Ohhhhhhhhhhh Travis yes...."


"Spaced Girl.... Ohhhhhhh..... Oooohhhh Yes! Yes! Yes!"  Then, much to Spaced Girl’s horror, her worst nightmare comes true and with one last moan the boy toy goes limp. 


"Travis! No Travis! Walk away from the light!"  Spaced cries with a mournful sob. The Travis Bot has been drained of his essence from days and days and days of carnal lust.  She collapses on top of him, heartbroken, frantically searching her mind for a solution to this dilemma. 


“Batteries!” She exclaims.  “He runs on batteries, I just need to recharge him!"  Excited at the thought of having her boy toy freshly lubed AND recharged she jumps off him and opens up the tiny control panel in his left buttock.


On the battery there is a sticker that reads:  "In case my plan is foiled this Boy-droid will only have 72 hours of power.  Once the power is drained you must recharge him, and I am the only one with the ability to do so.  HA!  Even when you think you have won, still I triumph!"


A rageful scream erupts from Spaced as she realizes that Happy Happy Fun Time is now over.  Glass shatters in every window for miles as her scream reverberates through the air. 

Then…


(The sound of inspiration striking our stuperhero)


"Eureka!"  She cries, having found a solution!  "I know what it is that I must do!  To the Penthouse of Objectification!" 


Taking flight she streaks through the air with a sonic boom in search of a way to recharge her favorite stuper luscious toy.

Sailing high above the darkened city streets, Spaced Girl Hero plans all the ways in which she will torture Howie in order to force him to recharge her beloved toy. Suddenly, she is distracted by bright flashing lights below.
 
SPECIAL VIEWING, ONE NIGHT ONLY! The Rocky Horror Picture Show  


Though she loved the movie-something about Tim Curry in a garter belt with those big red lips really did something for her but, alas, we love her anyway-she had never seen it at the theatre.
 
Well, she thinks to herself, I could probably use a bit to calm down. I wouldn’t want to go all Van Helsing on poor Howie before he reveals how to recharge Travis.
 
Having made up her mind she swoops down into the crowd of crazed fans, wishing she had some toast. For once her black leather stuperhero outfit and whip do not attract her much attention, what with all these men dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter and all. As she walks into the theatre, one of them strides past her pulling along a man on a leash dressed as Rocky. They are old, way too old to be wearing such little clothing, and their sagging flesh is quite disturbing to behold. They seem familiar to Spaced but before she can figure out why they lost in the throng of people flocking in to see their favorite cult classic for like the 300th time.

Settling into a seat in the back of the theatre she is soon lost in the music.
 
(Dr. Frank-N-Furter singing)

“I’m just a sweet transvestite…from Transexual, Transylvania.  Hit it! Hit it!”
 
Watching Tim Curry glide across the screen, gyrating, thrusting, and slapping himself on the ass, Spaced Girl Hero is enthralled. This was her absolute favorite part!
 
Suddenly, a man jumps onto the stage in front of the screen, pulling his ‘pet’ Rocky on a leash. It’s those men she had seen earlier, and they are blocking her view damn it!

About to shoot onto the stage and go all Commando on their asses she recognizes one of the men. The one dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter. Her jaw drops open with shock and for the first time in recorded history our stuperhero is speechless! Quickly her eyes dart to the man on the leash and she recognizes him instantly.
 
She is frozen for several minutes from the trauma of the sight before her and is quite sure she will be scarred for life. Never again will she be able to watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show without seeing Vice President Dick Cheney in heels, a garter belt, black bodice and pearls strutting across the stage pulling President George W. Bush on a leash!!
 
Fleeing the theatre, desperately trying to shake the horrific image from her mind, her long black hair trails behind her as she heads for the Liffey. After seeing that, she needed a pint! Or Twelve! Once she was sufficiently knackered, she would pay a visit to Howie and see about pumping life back into her Travis…