Stuperheroes

While Spaced Girl Hero is at the Liffey, vainly attempting to blot from her mind the images of Dick Cheney and George W. Bush dressed as characters for the Rocky Horror Picture Show Clever Girl is preparing herself for different prey.

Having heard that Eminem, AKA Slim Shady, AKA Marshall Mathers, is in LA shooting a new video, Clever Girl has decided that she needs a new toy.

But how to get to him?

It is a conundrum and our luscious stuperhero sits sipping a Mimosa and twirling her long red tresses around one finger trying to solve it.

Eureka!!

"I've got it!" She exclaims, running for her Closet 'O Gadgets. Digging around among her many creations Clever Girl triumphantly pulls out the Disguisamator.

Flying furiously towards LA, with her Disguisamator concealed in her Gadgo-Bra, Clever Girl ponders which disguise to use.

50 Cent?
Proof?
Kim?

Ah-ha!!!! The perfect disguise to give her unrestricted access to the little muff puff of her dreams..... Ms. Bextrom, his 9th grade teacher, a terrible and gruesome figure that to this day reaches out to him from the long dark hallways of his memory, constantly reminding him of the three years he spent trying to pass the 9th grade.

Now, our stuperhero only has to concentrate to conjure the image of the wicked and wretched woman to activate the Disguisamator.

Concentrating hard she imagines the blue hair, the sharp pointed teeth, the flaking paper thin skin that threatens to fall off at any moment, the hand knitted shawl that smells terribly of mothballs and vermouth.

Yes!!! This day would be hers!!!

Oh...KFC!!!!!

Poof!

Clever Girl is now a.....5'5" orange and yellow chicken.

"Perfect, I....cluck...brock...brock....CHICKEN!?!?!"

"What the hell?!?!" She screams to an unjust world....

If only she hadn't craved that crispy country fried chicken...damn that last bifter and the incessant cravings!

Landing just behind his trailer she pecks at the ground wondering....where is the seed corn....

"No! I must concentrate!" The Disguisamator....She realizes suddenly, or as suddenly as a walnut brained chicken can, she must turn herself back and start again... but where is it? Searching her feathers she realizes that it is gone.

Not wanting to delay and lose her chance at the sweet little boy and remembering the vat of calamine lotion she has waiting for him back at the Fortress of Sanity she plunges forward.

Rapping on the door to the trailer the Chicken formerly known as Clever Girl bellows, "KFC!"

"Oooh!" With a girlish squeal Marshall flings open the door and motions Clever Girl to come in. "My favorite!"

As he digs through his wallet to pay the supposed delivery chicken Clever Girl sizes up her prey. He's a bit scrawny so she doesn't expect him to put up much of a fight. She is not proven wrong.

Pushing him back out into the road and tucking him gingerly under wing..she leaps towards the sky.....

AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

"Damn, chickens can't flyyyyyyyyyy!" Clever Girl vaguely remembers.

How is our luscious stuperhero to get out of this conundrum? Tune in next time, Good Citizens for the continuation of this tale.....