Stuperheroes

The Stuperchicks are on their way to the hospital as Benny is in the Fortress of Sanity….


After wondering down to the fortress’s garage Benny begins to formulate his plan.


“An they say I live the life of Riley… me? As if I be jus milling about with me mickey. Tis murder watching o’r those gits.” Benny slams the last few drops of Guinness and up-ends his mug on Spaced Girls purple 1969 Corvette Stingray (otherwise known as schnookums). “Eegad! Benny sees Captain Jack just in the knick of time as he comes barreling out of no-where heading straight at Benny. Throwing himself to the ground he narrowly escapes with his ears in tact. Rising from the floor of the garage Benny is struck with an epiphany.


“GREAT GROWLERS!” He exclaims…. “To the Bitch Mobile” Lighting a bifter Benny meanders, not quite leggin’ it, over to the stuper stretch limo parked in the rear of the 3000 ft garage.


Climbing inside he knocks on the window divider and hollers to the driver slumped behind the seat. “It’s your day ol’ chap, I say….” Benny sniggers to himself over his cleaver use of Britishisms… The driver (who’s 105 if a day) comes to and looks bleary eyed at his two foot tall slightly bent passenger.


“This isn’t on the shedule.” “Course not ya fecker, Timmy fell in the well, ye arse.” Benny isn’t quite sure but from the expression on the Geriatric face he assumes the geezer can’t hear a word he’s sayin’. “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle”


SQWACK!! SQWACK!!!!


Captain Jack appears out of nowhere. This time with surprise on his side he has a clear shot. Swooping down from the support beam Captain Jack is able to pluck Benny’s Bifter right from between his lips.


SQWACK!!!!


“Off me nut” “Blimey Bastard” Captain shrieks as he makes his getaway.


Waving an indigent hand in the air Benny curses him silently.


MEANWHILE….


After being taken unexpectedly by a sudden attack of mutant phenomena our stuperheroes find themselves in the emergency room.


"Whew!" Clever Girl wipes the back of her hand across her sweaty brow. "I can't recall the last time I got sick.”
COUGH! COUGH! BARK! COUGH!


“And to be taken so unexpectedly." She continues when the coughing subsides.


“And from behind.” Spaced Girl adds.


Fiddling with the heart monitor suction cup dealies stuck to her heaving chest, she sighs deeply. "I'd say this has to be the work of a sinister mind. It’s much too clever to have been thought up by that lame brain, no dick, Howie."



"You can be certain that this is the work of Poof Poofy Poof the rapper and his evil posse, Frigid Puddin'." Spaced Girl remarks as she cranks up the voltage regulator on the EKG machine hooked to Clever Girl’s milky white breasts.


"You've done it Spaced, once again you have deduced the villain." Her voice trails off as the current of electricity surges through her body. Her hair, once in perfect red ringlets now stands on end. "And you know, I think I'm already starting to feel better.


Travis (Howard Stern's evil Boy-droid in disguise) feels the current emanating from Clever Girl's body, his droid hunger driving him to consume the power. Lunging at her, his lips puckered, he aims for her cleavage.


"Damn! I just knew he was gay!" Spaced Girl yells.


ZAP!!!!


"Arruughhh"


Sparks shoot out from his mouth as Clever Girl screams in pain. Spaced Girl, again with her stuper powers of deduction, spies an opening in Travis's trousers. Quick as lightening she bolts from her sick bed and whips her hand in between his butt cheeks.


"Just one second...hold on Clever Girl! There's got to be a switch in here somewhere." Struggling against the energy surge Spaced Girl manages to flip his switch, causing the boy droid to bend in half at the waist, limp and lifeless.


"Figures, they never admit it but they’re all suckers for some butt play." Clever Girl says through the puffs of smoke that are circling around her frizzled hair.


"And to think, he was a droid all along." Shaking her head she begins to unzip his pants.


"What are you doing?" Spaced Girl asks, though she too was curious.


Releasing his zipper and then the button on the boxers Clever Girl reveals the true depths of Howard's Evil Genius.


"HE'S HUGE!!!!!!!!! He's Ginormous!"


"Do you think we could keep him...?" Clever Girl asks as she fondles the supple, fleshy like droid skin. "I think I could reprogram him."


"Why do you suppose he'd go to the lengths to have him anatomically correct?" Spaced Girl asks, mesmerized herself.


Shaking their heads they decide not to think further on that subject. Instead refocusing their stuperpowers they are able to fight the raging virus ridding their stuper bodies of the vile creation of Poof Poofy Poof.


As the three leave through the hospital emergency room doors they spy a long haired, tattoo covered, fashion freak, face down in what appears to be a pile of his own vomit, his pants pulled down around his ankles.


"Oh my Goddess, isn't anyone going to help this poor bastard?"


"Oh that's just Remy Maxwell, DJ for 93X; you know... boys will be boys... although if rumors are true he's a dick short to really be classified a boy." Clever Girl says as she fondles her PADDLE OF JUSTICE.


AH HA!


Spying an almost-missed opportunity for justice. Clever Girl remarks. "Men like you give men like Jason Statham a bad name" grabbing Remy by the arm she drags him through the alley to the Boy-droid's limo and stuffs him in the trunk.


Sliding in beside the once again perky droid she leans over his lap and says to Spaced Girl "Did you get a sniff of him? Smells like he's already started to rot."


"He couldn't smell any worse than he looks. I mean really... does he think the corpse look is in?" Spaced Girl remarks as she makes herself a drink from the mini bar. Nestling into the Boy-droids lap she has a clever idea. "Howie doesn't know we've uncovered his evil plot. We could pay him a visit and while we’re at it, we could leave him a little peace offering... Remy"



"My Goddess! Spaced Girl you've done it again, not only a sexy body but a rapier mind as well... I could just kiss you." Clever Girl says as she too squeezes her way onto the Boy-droid's lap, nestling her head on his shoulder under his silky blond mane. "Driver... to the PENTHOUSE OF OBJECTIFICATION!"

While the Girls are fondling, drooling, and panting over what they think is the real Travis Fimmel Benny is skulking about in the Fortress of Sanity…


“Captain Ja-ack! Where are ye?” Benny calls out to the psychotic cockatoo as he hops through the Fortress.


“Captain Jack, stop acting like a Baluba…I got a Bag of Taytos for ye…ya worthless git.” He mumbles that last bit under his breath so Captain Jack will think he wants to play nice and then when he comes out of hiding…Ka-Pow!


Unfortunately for Benny, Captain Jack is smarter than the average bird--thanks to his run in with retro viral DNA sludge—and is not fooled by this weak charade.


“AAAAAAWWWK! AAAAAWWWK! Walk the plank… Aaaaaawwwwk… Yer a bastard!!!… AAAAWWWK!”


Swooping down from the tower Captain Jack snatches the Bag of Taytos and is gone again before Benny has a chance to shove him into the box labeled ‘To Siberia’ and pop him in the mail.


“BOLLOCKS!”


Meanwhile…in the limo…


The stuper chicks have managed to plop both of their hard, tight asses onto Travis’ lap. Clever Girl strokes his long silky hair while Spaced is unbuttoning his shirt to caress his stuper muscular chest.


“Oh Travis… you’re bloody gorgeous aren’t you… mmmm… such a delectable tasty treat for me to devour…” Clever Girl moans as she kisses his neck and reaches down to check the size of his package…


“YOU?! Hell no!” Spaced exclaims, slapping Clever Girls hand. “He’s mine damn it! GET OFF!”


Reaching over Travis, Clever Girl shoves Spaced backwards and she tumbles to the floor of the limo. Her Mesmerizing Eyes flashing with jealous rage she reaches up to grab a handful of Clever Girl’s hair to pull her to the floor when suddenly, the stuper chicks start coughing uncontrollably.


COUGH… COUGH… HACK… COUGH… Hairball… COUGH!


“What is it my stuper loves?” Travis exclaims fearfully, his voice so sexy… so sultry...


“Mmmmmmmmmmmmm…”


“God Damn it!” Clever Girl starts to address the Author but is overtaken by yet another uncontrollable coughing fit.


COUGH COUGH GASP WHEEZE COUGH COUGH!!!!


“You’re drooling… COUGH COUGH COUGH WHEEZE… on me… WHEEZE COUGH… you BITCH!! That’s… BARK… COUGH… just GROSS!”


BIG BARKING COUGH!!


“Besides…” Spaced attempts to interject but…


WHEEZE! GASP! COUGH!


“Something has gone… COUGH COUGH... horribly wrong!”


Spaced Girl pauses to pant and wheeze for a minute before resuming her dire declaration.


“We’re supposed to be…


GAG COUGH COUGH WHEEZE


“…impervious to disease!!!”


“Great Goddess Spaced Girl, BANG ON!!” The Author exclaims after wiping a substantial amount of drool from Clever Girl’s wild red tresses and from in between her luscious, firm, supple breasts…


“You enjoyed that a bit too much… COUGH WHEEZE…”


The Author ignores that comment and shouts dramatically, “TO THE HOSPITAL!!”


Once again back to the Fortress of Sanity…


Benny the Bunny sits dejected and alone in the Fortress of Sanity smoking furiously, when he senses a disturbance in the force!


GASP!!


"Bloody 'ell!" He suddenly cries with great consternation. "While I've been foostering about those birds have fallen into a trap! I knew it was a bogey!"


Nearly brickin’ it now, he hits his bifter again… and again… and once more… until he's calmed himself.


"Well, old chap, I haven't a baldy as to what you can do about it, seeing as how yer not mobile and all."


Thus, absolutely helpless, Benny sits back, lights up another bifter, and waits for the Stuper Chicks to return.
Will the Girls figure out that Travis is actually a Boy-droid? Will our stuperheroes discover who has infected them with this horribly diabolical disease? Will Spaced cough up a lung on Clever Girl? Will the Author cop another feel? Tune in next time for the continuation of this exciting saga!

LATER at the expo.... after 2 hours of walking around admiring the many faces of "Travis" the girls are hormonally charged and ready to fire.


"You haven't seen him have you?" Spaced glares at Clever Girl.


"You've been with me the whole fekkin' time! Don't you think if I'd have seen him, you would have also?"


“Don’t get grammatically correct with me, WHORE!" Spaced fires back as her jet black Mesmerizing Eyes scan the crowd for their host and Stuper Sex GOD Travis Fimmel.


"Take a pill and give me one too, I'm sick of waiting, enough already I want some candy." Clever Girl says as she too searches the crowd.


Her emerald green eyes, not only able to see in the dark, also have the strange ability to see through most cotton and poly blends as well as other fabrics such as chenille and silk. She is desperately hoping to see if he really did have "the biggest package ever!" as the Calvin Klein ads implied.


Distressed over not having met Travis, the "Girls" panic as the crowd begins to thin and the evening comes to an end. Snagging the last of the hors d’oeuvre from the passing waiter Clever Girl shoves them into her mouth, hoping to satiate her unquenchable appetite. THEN without warning he emerges from the back room.


"I've been told to escort the stuper crime fighting hotties to a private showing." The words melting from his mouth, he holds out his arms. The two stuper horny stuperheroes loop their arms with his and follow as he leads them through the back exit and into a black limousine waiting out back.


Slipping into their seats, each on opposite sides of Travis, neither of them speaks. They just drool and pant as they’re in their own fantasy world of skin, sweat and vanilla yogurt.


The girls are horny as hell and at the mercy of their hormones. Are they jumping head first into danger? Will they be foiled by Howard's Boy-Droid? Tune in next time good citizens and find out!

Wondering why the Girls are so ga-ga over Travis, well here's a peek......

Spaced Girl Hero, sitting alone on the roof, is contemplating the meaning of life and rubbing Captain Jack’s eye socket. Meanwhile, Clever Girl is again nestled in her pink satin sheets mindlessly stroking Benny's ears and twirling a red ringlet around her finger.


"Oh Benny, what would we do without you?” She asks rhetorically. “So many settings, so little time."


VRRRMMMMRRRMMMMVVVRRMMM"
zzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz


Benny swings his head in a circle, twitching his ears seductively.


"You know, if Spaced thinks she's gonna move in on my Travis, she's got another thing coming."


“Well, while you birds are having a go over Travis, I’ll be in me tower gettin’ buckled.” Benny remarks, hopping up the stairs. Grabbing a can of Arthurs from his own personal bar, he lights up a bifter, and does a little contemplating of his own.


"How many licks does it take to get to the center?" He asks of no-one as he sits alone in the high tower of the stuper hero's hang out. Lighting up yet another bifter, he sips contentedly on his Guinness.


Then, in a rare moment of lucidity, he begins to mumble. "If string theory is the answer to linking general relativity and quantum mechanics, then it must be true there are different dimensions. And if that be the case, what’s keeping me from falling through the floor and landing in another world all together?" He asks as a wave of paranoia hits.


Quivering with fear, he crushes out his bifter and tosses the last of his drink from the open window before hopping to the pole that links the different levels of the Fortress in one easily accessible escape route.


"And why is it that I seem to be the only two foot walking, talking, vibrating rabbit?" He asks, suddenly feeling lonely.


"Are you coming with us?" Clever Girl yells up to Benny, whose ears she sees through the round opening to the level above.


"You birds are as dense as bottled shite! It’s a bogey I tell ya!" He scowls back.


Clever Girl shrugs her shoulders and mutters, "He's been a fucker ever since he got his ears stuck in the Hoover."


Is the Travis Fimmel Expo really a bogey? Have the girls lost their logic to their raging hormones? Will they find out about Howard's secret weapon before it is too late? Stay tuned for the answers to these questions and a whole lot more!