Stuperheroes

As Brigitte Bleauballer (my less than stuper alter-ego) I’m an all-work and no-play rocket scientist. Working in an underground top-secret facility (close to the very bowels of the earth) I bide my time until both my identities will merge creating possibly the sexiest most dangerous weapon in the world. With wild red curls piled atop my head and held in place by numerous pens and pencils (leaving a sparse pocket protector in my long white lab coat) I assume the role ‘Mad scientist’. But…. By night I am Clever Girl Assassin. Outfitted with hot-pink leotards and a high-tech holster holding my many secret weapons and gadgets I patrol the night skies looking to protect and punish… my trusty Paddle O’ Justice at my side.


How I met Spaced Girl Hero:
During one of my many unjust incarcerations in the loony bin, I bumped into Raven Ridesemraw. I was being held for questioning by a militant man-woman with a wicked sense of style and a lust for sadistic pleasures when I realized I was still wearing my Gadgo-bra - which was equipped with my ever-handy ‘liquidifier’. Nonchalantly reaching between my billowing breasts I find the flip switch and activate it turned myself into a puddle of pinkish liquid where I was able to sloosh under the door and make my getaway. Once back in my supple form I ran down the long corridor leading to freedom when suddenly there was a loud CLASH and blinding flash of light as we collided. Dazed and confused we suddenly realized that something strange had happened…. To our amazement we discovered we had activated Stuperhero powers within us.


Who is Captain Jack?
During a highly dangerous experiment with ultra-hyper violet blue gas a stray Cockatoo came whizzing down the hall to my lab. Before I could react it flew straight into the hyper-ray. With just enough fight to let out an ear piercing ‘Squawk’ it crash-landed into a puddle of retro viral DNA sludge. Now featherless and missing an eye I couldn’t resist its unquestionable appeal (or the horror of it all). Together Spaced and I nursed it back to health giving it the name Captain Jack and a rhinestone studded eye patch to cover the gaping hole.



Raves and Favs

Book: Jean-Pierre Vigier and the Stochastic Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics

Food: Yogurt covered nuts....mmmm nuts...

Music: Punk/Alternative

Bands: Trip Shakespeare, Scissor Sisters, Green Day, Flogging Molly

Weapon: Cappuccino Maker of Death

TV: SG-1--Daniel Jackson, Jack O'Neil and Teal'C...Oh Yeah!

Weakness: Shoes and that high pitch girl shreek of Howard's

Gadget: Disguesemator

Movie: Shaun of the Dead

Fetishes:
Spanking
Paddling
Calamine Lotion
Breaking their will
Pink
Flowers
Plaster

Personal Quote: "On your knees boys!"

Due to the overwhelming amount of emails BEGGING (We do so love it when you beg) us to post the rest of this adventure ASAP, here it is:


Episode Five: Revenge of the Dick Part 2

The day is waning and the duo find themselves in the grips of a very unfriendly situation. Agent Dick Stroker, the right hand man of the vilest Man-boy ever, Howard Stern, has tracked them down and it is a Mexican stand off between good and evil.


Turning to face him Spaced Girl Hero whips her long black hair around and places her right hand on the whip at her sleek black leather clad hip. "Wanker," she purrs with a flick of her head, and with a slight tip of her chin she captures him in her mesmerizing gaze. "What makes a Man-boy like you think you can tame a bitch like me?"


"Forgot about those damn eyes eh? Like the bottom of hell itself... I always thought" Benny flicks a roach to the ground, hops on top crushing it into the dark wood of the bar room floor. Hopping up to the bar he orders another Irish whiskey. "A bloody shame really, too damn easy if you ask me."


"She's NOTHING! If it's power you boys came to see, why not take a gander over at me." Clever Girl trills over the sound of the awed crowd. And with the slightest of movements Clever Girl springs to the top of a bar table brandishing her all impressive PADDLE O’ JUSTICE!


"Cake or Death... boys" she coos, blowing a kiss toward Agent Dick Stroker who is still lost in Spaced Girl's hypnotic gaze, his grip loosening on his semiautomatic testosterone gun.


With an ear-piercing crack of thunder Clever Girl slaps the hard pink leather paddle against her thigh. At once the men come to, seeing Clever Girl for the very first time. Seeing her, her gravity defying breasts, her rock hard abs, her ass like a cherry…. so pink….. so round….


"Simple minds, all mine to tame.”


What oh what will our sexy stuperheroes do next? Tune in next time for the continuing saga of 'Revenge of the Dick.'

Revenge of the Dick Part 1

Tune in good citizens as our stuper crime fighting gals have just been reunited at the Liffey...

"It's about damn time woman! What are you, the U.S. Cavalry, comin’ in when the battle’s almost over? Don't tell me you had to stop and tame a pack of wild shoes again; you've already used that excuse once this week. And Benny, I'm disappointed in you, it's your job to keep Clever Girl on track when I'm not around."


"Ask me bollocks Spaced, a bloke’s gotta be dog wide when this coppertop spots a shoe sale. I’m too bloody fond of me ears to lose them when Clever Girl ‘as a go at me. All the birds say it's all about me ears you know."


To demonstrate, Benny signals the waitress by vibrating his ears wildly and she is instantly drawn to him.


"Why what big vibrating ears you have." She says with appreciation as she strokes them.


"All the better to pleasure you with me dear." He purrs.


"I get off at two, you should come find me then."


"It's a date baby." He replies, lighting up a bifter before ordering an Irish whiskey.


"Benny, what the hell are you doing? Where do you think we are, Amsterdam? Put that out."


Reluctantly Benny extinguishes the bifter. "Jaysus Spaced, you don’t have to make a holy show of it. What is it with you and Amsterdam anyway? We get it, it's legal there, lay off already!"


“Will you talk some sense into this git?” Spaced asks Clever Girl who has been too busy admiring her new Prada’s to follow the conversation.


But before she can reply, agent Dick Stroker suddenly bursts into the bar. "Ah-hah! I have you in my clutches, surrender yourselves to me now! Resistance is futile!" He exclaims dramatically, pulling his semiautomatic Testosterone Gun from his trench coat and pointing it right at our stuperheroes.


Great Goddess good citizens, how will our heroes get out of this conundrum????? Tune in next time dear readers, to the chilling conclusion to this tale!

Episode Four:: Reunited!


We left Spaced Girl Hero at the Liffey, getting bolloxed on the bevvies.

Meanwhile……..

Benny hops into his customized holster strapped securely to Clever Girl’s back. “This is so damn embarrassing.” He moans.

“Perk up little bunny, there is more to be worried about. We still have to find Spaced Girl Hero and rescue her from the clutches of evil.”

“Why, did the Evangelical Christians try their brainwashing ray on her again?” Benny asks as Clever Girl launches into the air, heading towards the spot where she last heard Spaced Girl Hero’s desperate cry for help.

“As far as I can tell she is nowhere to be found, and yet the Bitch Light still shines brightly. Where is Spaced? Where oh where could she be…..cough cough…oh goddess I gotta quit smoking!” Circling the sky Clever Girl spots the Liffey below and decides to whet her whistle.

“NOOOO!” Benny screams over the sound of the rushing wind. “Must resist the call of BEVVIES!!”

“Just a drink Benny, I’ve got cotton mouth something fierce.” Clever Girl wheezes as she lands perfectly on the pavement outside their favorite Irish pub. “My stuperpowers are tingling; I sense Spaced is close at hand.”

Walking into the candlelit pub Clever Girl spots Spaced at their table surrounded by a pack of Man-boys. “You WHORE!!” She yells, running up to her partner in stuper crime fighting.

“Spaced, how did you get here?” Clever Girl cries, throwing her arms around her fellow stuperhero, knocking a desperate looking bloke off of the bar stool next to Spaced in the process. “I was just about to come find you!”

Now that our stuperheroes have been reunited, what weird and wacky adventures will they get into next??? Tune in again next time good citizens to The Adventures of Spaced Girl Hero and Clever Girl Assassin!!!

The conclusion of Episode 3...

We left Spaced Girl Hero at the Liffey, as she laughs a wicked laugh and orders another Guinness. Then, she spies someone who desperately needs her help. At the other end of the bar a woman is seeking to escape the unwanted attention of a very inebriated Man-boy. Moving so fast she is nothing more than a gust of wind she suddenly stands before him, her trust whip in hand.

“You’re some can of piss aren’t you?” She asks the pitiful excuse for a man that stands swaying before her. “Why is it that you Man-boys always seem to think that just because a woman is attractive that gives you the right to put your hands all over her?”

Not bothering to wait for a response---it was a rhetorical question after all, she could really care less what this witless testosterone filled Man-boy thinks—she looks deep into his eyes and he falls into a coma-like trance. Cracking her whip, she wraps it around him tightly, pulling him to the door. Cracking it again she flings the bewildered Man-boy onto the pavement. As she returns to her table, the woman runs up to her, her eyes shining with gratitude and adoration.

“Spaced Girl Hero, how can I ever thank you for saving me from that horrible drunken Man-boy?”

“There is no need to thank me. It is my destiny to save all women from the dreaded Man-boy and all the other stupervillains like him. Go now, and be afraid no more.”

Returning to her table Spaced Girl lights up another cigarette, again wishing she was in Amsterdam, and sips the Guinness the waitress brought her on the house. Tapping her foot to the lively music of ‘What’s Left of the Flag’ she awaits the arrival of Clever Girl Assassin.

Will Clever Girl ever find her partner in crime fighting or will Spaced Girl Hero be doomed to a life without a stuper crime fighting partner? Tune into the next episode to find out the thrilling conclusion to this tale.